Wild Thing: Where is the Manual to this Child?
Que niña mas tranquila! Que nena que se porta tan bien! She is so quiet. Omg! You guys are the cutest. #MomGoals I love how you do these awesome adventures with her. Wait, wait, STOP! It is not as easy as you think!
When I found out I was having a little girl I was a little taken back. I had felt this being in me so rambunctious that I swore it would be a boy. And then the doctor says, “ISSA GIRL!”, “HUH?!”, “Hmmm sure don’t feel like it”.
Then the proof came. I had my daughter close to 4 years ago. She left the hospital with wide open eyes and the most expressive bitch resting face I've ever seen on a baby. My dear little lady was a tough cookie. From day one I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy ride. My mother warned me, "You were a tough kid until the age of 5 or so". Wait... but how? My mom told me she didn’t take me to most places because I would wreak havoc. Then my daughter's father warned me, “Hey I might be in to pay some karma because I was a bad kid”. What?! What does your karma have to do with me?! I was scared.
Now in her toddler years I have met my daughter’s character in the face. My daughter is strong, rough, and tough. She has her own set of ideas and it is her way or the high way. Why? Why did I not get the sweet angel most little girls depict out to be. Every stage of the way has been nothing but a lesson to me.
I always admire people who know themselves. Who know how to listen to their own voice and follow their own path. BUT I didn’t know that came with a large dose of stubbornness and attitude, until God gave me a child that is truly herself in every sense of the way. She knows what she likes to eat, play, wear, listen to, and speak of. She is so aware of her own vibe and energy and is the type to read people from a far and not mess with them if she doesn’t want to. She so in tuned with herself and to me this has been a learning experience. “Say Hi!”, “Be nice”, “Do this”, “Do that”. No! That doesn’t rock in my household.
At first it stressed me out. How can I control her? Well I couldn’t. Control meant tantrum. How can I communicate with her? I didn’t want to seem soft to her. And how do I reprimand? This part was a learning lesson. I started with time outs which she hated. She would cry until she got bored then I would find her day dreaming, off into her own world. She learned how to play with her imagination during time out. Great! Then I would hit her. This wasn’t effective either as it was a temporary fix. Eventually she stopped crying. Instead she would scream back at me and say, “I want grandma” or “you don’t love me”. YES... she said that and it killed me. The other issue with this was, you can’t hit kids in public. Its not like back in the days when our parents would whoop us and people would look the other way because they knew you were bad. Nowadays you get the stare. Then the brave parent approaches you out of nowhere like, “You shouldn’t hit your kids”. Oh yea?! You should mind your business!
So what do I do now? After a tough weekend where the tantrums took a whole new level, this time she threaten to never go back to school. She is 3! How dare she! I reached out to my mom. I expressed myself to her and she offered monumental advice. She told me how she sees a lot of my grandfather in my daughter. He was as tough as her and left his house at the age of 9. She told me maybe I need to read a little more on how to deal with her or even take a class. OYE! Una madre Dominicana suggesting a parenting class. Y que e' esto. Well this means it is serious. I spoke to a few friends about it and with the same advice I sat and thought and it was like EUREKA! There was one commonality. Libra. YES! Astrology. My grandfather was a Libra, my friend’s baby is a libra, and my other friends mom is a Libra and they all shared the same characteristics.
Even if you're not into it you know its a big deal in our society, as there are hundreds of sources on astrology. In the past year, I have been learning about natal charts, astrology, and moon patterns. Throughout this experience with my child I always told myself, "God choose you to be her mom for a reason so just hang in there. You can handle it". And this all now made sense. Since I was tapping into this new realm and was so open to patterns based on birth dates maybe this is the reason I finally figure out what is it that I needed to “study”.
I went online and researched my daughter’s natal birth chart, and googled, “raising a Libra girl”. Holy Shit! It hit home. I learned why my daughter acted certain ways. I read how to feed her need for attention without enabling her. And I understood the reason for some of her reactions. It helped me cope better with her and her energy. For my daughter, specifically, I learned that music is big for her creative side. I made it a habit to play music every day in the house to keep her chilled out. I also learned that she needs a lot of affection. Since she could talk, she would ask my mom, her dad, and myself, “Do you love me?”. And now I knew why. Now I make it a habit to say I love you countless times. She needed the reassurance. I learned so much on how to handle her personal space and how to interact with her. Once I put this into practice I definitely saw a difference in her.
Knowing your child’s characteristics based on their astrological sign may or may not help but my point is THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. Don’t give up or lose it. Being a parent is stressful as it is, so imagine dealing with someone you don’t know how to handle. It is a new world. If you have an over hyper kid that throws tantrums and you run to a doctor or a specialist, they are quick to label ADHD or other terms. It might just be their character and some of us need more attention than others. Some of us are more respective to different things and it is all about learning about our biological and spiritual composition. Even learning about family history. Try arts such as painting or music, try talking it through and asking about their wants, or try teaching your child meditation. Just as us, they might be struggling to learn themselves. As parents we need to use all resources to make it work, so get to studying!