“Is 10PM, Do You Know Where Your Man Is?”

“Is 10PM, Do You Know Where Your Man Is?”

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Remember the announcement “Is 10PM, Do you know where your children are?” Apparently, it has been changed to “Is 10PM, Do you know where your man is?” And girlfriends around the world start to text or DM (direct messages) other girls asking them about the where abouts of their so-called boyfriend. I have been in the dating scene for a little over a year and I lost track of how many women have slid into my DMs (direct messages)  or texted me asking about their "boyfriend." Honey, if you asking me then he is not your man. CLICK!

Have you ever heard Sza’s song the Weekend? No? Go listen before you proceed…  Done? Ok let’s keep talking. “My man is my man is your man, heard it's her man too.” Hmm, what is up with all this sharing? I don’t like to share but it seems like is an epidemic that I don’t want to participate in. Rather single than in this holy mess.

Why the rant? Let me backtrack. Well it seems that men think that we should accept them with more than one women. And apparently, some girls are ok with that as well. I was listening to the radio and some guy was rejoicing about how he is with both his baby moms and they are ok with it. He said, “I have it all under control, they are all happy right now!” What!! Nah. What about Insecure and the open marriage situation. Unlike Molly, I am not signing up to mess with anyone who is committed to someone else. Now if that is you, then so be it, we all have our own preference, but here is why it doesn’t sit well with me and my situation.

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Dating multiple people is one thing, but if you have committed yourself to someone then I can’t accept you to enter my life. In the last year, I have given myself the necessary break from commitment to learn that … I WANT COMMITMENT! I want a boyfriend, eventually a husband. I want a partner to build and grow with. I don’t want someone short changing me. I don’t to be someone’s weekend. Again, if you are still in the dating stage and you can accept that then there is no judgment here, Sweety. This is more to the couple who thinks I want to participate in making their relationship interesting. Not the kinky threesome kind of way, no. These new couples want to text me and be messy with chisme because they are bored with each other!

Recently I had a guy try to court me. He did basically all the right things. Not pushy, gentlemen, and took into my interests to get to know me better. We hung out a few times and I called his card immediately. “Hey, I am not looking for a fuck buddy so if you proceed to court this is about dating me respectfully.” Mirame, dique finally putting my standards up. At first I saw he was disappointed, but a few weeks later he says, “I want to take you on a date.” Oh! Ok! One night, while at an event, he showed up and we were chatting it up like normal friends do. I was a little intoxicated so I proceed to leave with my friends. Next morning, I wake up to a DM. “How do you know Fulano?” written about 3 times. I go check my notifications. This girl has left comments on multiple of my pictures trying to get my attention to write back. I have a rule. I don’t talk to strangers! Nope. I don’t address strangers on social media especially hostile girlfriends. I screenshot shot the conversation, and blocked her. Sent it to him and told him please do not reach out to me anymore. He begged for forgiveness and said she was a crazy ex.. Ok, now you must think I’m stupid! Wait, do all men think girls are stupid? Because if you know girls, you must know we already did our homework. I went through girl’s page and she was at the same recent trips you just took. Please don’t undermine my context clues skills homeboy. His last message was “I promise to make it up to you.” Ha! He is undermining my ghost skills as well.

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Fast forward a few weeks, I “run” into the guy. Well let’s be honest, he stalked me. We do small chat and he begs for a dance and how he is really interested in me. I decided to leave. Not even 15 minutes after leaving I get a DM. “Hey can you tell Fulano to call me, he must have his phone off or no service.” WHATTT!!!!! Honestly this is not the first time this has happened to me and I was fed up. So, I broke my rule. I replied. “Didn’t I block you? I don’t know you! You shouldn’t be talking to strangers.” I have a way of getting under people’s skin through my smart remarks and I was going to annoy the shit out of this girl because both her and her weird boyfriend had me fed up. I was also pissed off. I was pissed off at the universe for sending me these crappy situations since I was doing my best to stay in a higher moral ground. It was a “WHY ME?” moment.

She replied. Apparently, her loving boyfriend explained how we are friends and he was at the event to support me. My reaction… “Oh so he told you about me!” Now I’m not Jesus to be teaching these girls how to value themselves, but honey, darling, how can you put up with this. I, once again, sent him the conversation and told him he must be fucking kidding me and to stay away. I made sure to properly block her this time and unfollowed him Mr. Creep.

With that said… girlfriends near and far… before you approach the single women of the world asking about your men… ask him first! Stalk him, don't stalk us. Now I know some girls don't have the same morals and will participate in entertaining your boyfriends knowing that he is taken but honestly, it takes two! You and your man don't have the proper standards in place to begin with. If he feels that he can step out on you and he continuously does so then that is a crack in your foundation, and I am not a handy man to fix it, You might get rid of one leak, but you are not fixing the source of the problem so it will resurface again.. Just some advice, woman to women, set your standards within your relationship with your man, and make sure he knows you are not putting up with it. Take the higher rode, take control of your relationship, and instead of reaching out to another woman about your private life, consider how this man is making you look. Let the next time you reach out to a women be to help, spread love, and empower. Not allow men to pin us against each other because of thier foolish mistakes. 

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