You ever had someone snap you back into reality?.. Well I have and it was the rude awakening I needed. I’ve always been a fan of constructive criticism because I want to ultimately progress in life and I think that I need to be checked from time to time. Especially when you think you’re doing everything right to better yourself.
Despite my welcoming attitude, constructive criticism can be a hard pill to swallow when the messenger is someone you love. One evening, I had this long text conversation with my boyfriend, the man I plan to build a future with. During this conversation he shared with me somethings I didn't expect to hear. It’s scary to read the person you love blatantly tell you they don’t know if they want to continue being with you because they don't see any progression from your part. But like I mentioned before it’s the rude awakening some of us need to get our shit together.
As I laid in bed reading the messages he sent to me that night, my brain immediately went into panic mood. I was filled with fear, anxiety, and hurt but it dawned on me that everything he was saying was true. He was right. I was focusing all of my attention on the wrong things, including him. I was worrying about him being better and not focusing on bettering myself. I’m still in shock and really don’t know if he wants to be with me anymore but I thanked him for adjusting my lens so I can see things more clearer. From the inside looking out it seemed as if I was doing everything right. Seemed like I was bettering myself. I thought he was noticing these things. But no, he is far too smart and called me out on my bullshit. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. All I ever wanted was for someone to help me grow so we can grow together.
Now not only am I going to get my shit together because he brought it to my attention but I am doing it for myself, to better myself and better my situation. I’m sure some are thinking “girl I could have told you that” but when we ignore the signs and try to blame others for our own failures we grow blind. And it seemed like I was oblivious of what seemed so obvious. So I thank him and even if him and I don’t work out I thank him because he helped me grow.