Lower Your Standards
He likes straight hair. I welcome heat damage. Kim is wearing sweats. Welp, lets pay $56 for a pair of Champion sweats that would've been less than $20 in 1996! Iceland is the new travel trend, I am not cool enough if I don’t go. What am I going to do this weekend! I have no cool plans to post on IG! My world is crumbling. Oh yea, let me skip lunch so I can get that new Fenty beauty just to use the hashtag.
This is our life. Living up to standards that hold no value or have a short life span. One day you care the next you don’t. I am not even going to blame social media for it. We all know what role that plays, but we do need a serious reality check when it comes to how we plan our lives. We are getting fed up of it. I have probably heard more than 5 different people this week tell me “I want to get rid of my IG account.” I think the stress is becoming overwhelming, and over bearing. We are all tired of keeping up, or being fed this empty story. Keeping up with a trend, a look, a lifestyle, the news, tired of keeping up in this really fast paced society that holds no value. Some of us are too tough to admit when we are playing a part and falling into the scheme, and others are too cool to speak up when you see a loved one suffering from this. But I am tired of looking the other way on both fronts. Here is me taking responsibility.
I am responsible for being weak and giving in to what this society deems as cool. I have made decisions based on what is in according to the other planet we live in, Instagram. Lets face it, it is a fine line between what information looks like vs. what trend is being shoved down your throat. I have learned that what we need to do is lower our standards. Or all together just throw standards out the window. Learning where you stand in life is harder than ever. There are so many options and so many pieces to the puzzle, is this what you want you want or what society tells you that you should want? Recently a friend asked me, “Do you think my life seems normal to others?” My reply… “What is normal?” “Why do we thinks someone else’s normal is the same for everyone else?”
We have access to so many other people’s lives now a days, or at least a glimpse of what they want to show us, and this is how we try to live up to the Jonses, but the Jonses are all over the place. You might have the friend that travels the world, the one that is on her 2nd kid, and the other that just purchased a home. You have friends climbing the career ladder, and others pursuing their artistic dreams. Some friends are even doing all of this, and you there wondering “How the fuck?” Everyone has their own narrative but strolling on IG is like reading 10 different stories at once and trying to figure out how can you try to keep up. Fuck keeping up! Don’t feel because you are not doing any of the above that you are in the wrong. There is motivation, and then there is societal pressure. Don’t be pressure into doing something you have no motivation in doing. We need to learn to mold our expectations around what we think should be our own normal. Living in your means has always been apply to finances, but we need to also take this into account with all areas of our lives. Do what you can and what you want to do, not what someone else is doing because you think you need to do something with your life. Don’t live to do the most but live to feel the most. Do what makes your heart pound faster not what gets you more likes. Create a life that no matter who knows what you are doing you are genuinely happy and in your own comfort zone.
I am also responsible for seeing loved ones lose themselves in this hole. I have friends and family members that are drowning themselves in financial and emotional debt in order to just live up to a lifestyle. Why? Because through these superficial lifestyles that require validation through a “like” we are all feeding EGO instead of the soul. Feeding the ego is our biggest downfall. Ego is a drug whose high is so quick live that we need more, and more, faster, and faster. We need to feed our souls to live more enriched lives without the need of validation from outside source. But how do we do that when all we do is look at our phone screens? How do you expect others to know their worth when you only hit a like button, and don’t find the time to have a conversation of appreciation with them. I am not blaming you for it as we have been conditioned to think that human interaction suffices through online social platforms. We are losing the human touch when it comes to connections so we are all starving for true connection, and instead of making the efforts of finding it we are getting it from drugs like social media.
So what is there to do to? My advice, lower your standards. Heck get rid of all standards. Feed your soul with genuine, positive, and honest appreciation for life. Pick to do the things that you want to do despite what society is doing. Also, be interested in your friends lives pass what is being displayed on their social media accounts. Work on having a connection with your life and others that comes from sincerity. I think that instead of getting to know others through social media accounts we need to get to know ourselves better. Learning about myself has been an amazing journey that has led me to come closer to so many friends who I lost a connection with.
Feeding my soul now is focusing on doing the things I like to do. I watch less tv, and listen to more music. I plan to do things I like even if it is alone. Have a craving? Go eat! Don’t want for someone to join you! An art show. A concert. A drink. All things I now learn how to do alone just because is what I like to do. I hang out with those I want to, not those that I think I should. I created a space in my home that is welcoming to my needs not to visitors. I learned to shut everything off when I need quiet time. I learned that is OK to say no, and not be available. All things that make my soul happy. These small actions have made my days more richer as I do things to my taste, and I connect more with others on a personal level. I am still learning how to lower my standards and not give in to buying that top just so that if I post it is a new outfit, and instead, I plan to make sure that when I post, the smile on the picture is genuine. I want to inspire others to not live my life but to live their life with my positive vibe and energy.